Writing is cathartic for me. Thoughts and feelings that overwhelm me when I speak somehow make perfect sense when I write them down.
I started this blog on a whim six years ago. I was a single woman, and found it a good outlet for my thoughts and opinions. Social media was a relatively new thing, but it was made for someone like me … someone who craves affirmation and the good opinion of others. Unlike the journal I’ve kept since I was a teenager, when I wrote on the blog I got feedback. I found a new place for social interaction. I created conversation and occasional controversy. I ate it up. I basked in the glow of how others responded to me. And so I wrote not as much for the love of writing, but for the response I got.
Since that time my life has changed dramatically, and I suddenly find myself navigating life as a married mother of two small children. The past two years have passed at hurricane speed and as I focused my time and attention on other things, I stopped posting almost entirely. Recently, I find I have the desire to write again but this time I write with a very different purpose. I write first and foremost, for me. I write because the way I was created demands it. I write because raising children is flippin’ hard and I need a place to process my experiences.
Raising children in the age of social media means that everyone has an opinion they feel must be shared. I realize that when I open myself up to the critique of others, it’s a very vulnerable place to be. I think this could be a part of what resuming this blog is about … helping me let go of my unquenchable need for people’s approval. Craving the affirmation of others is not the healthiest place to be. What I’m striving for, and what I want to become my sole desire and only focus, is the affirmation and approval of the One who made me. After all, His is the only opinion that truly matters.