Do You Have a Mentor?

I have a question for you … do you have a mentor?

If you don’t, have you ever thought about getting one? If you do, what has your experience been like?

I just asked someone if she would be interested in mentoring me. We met recently in a small group study we were doing together and I quickly realized we have a lot in common. I’ve prayed for a mentor for years but until now, nothing has worked out. As our study was ending, I felt the urging to pursue this idea again. I’m very excited that things seem to be falling into place now.

Like I mentioned yesterday, I’m the oldest of four kids. For as long as I can remember, I’ve craved someone to fill that “older sister” role in my life. Someone that I could go to for advice or encouragement or accountability. Someone to share my struggles or fears or doubts with. Someone willing to share their life and experiences with me.

So we’re going to start meeting together and I’m wondering what this mentoring thing looks like for other people. How often do you meet? How structured is it? What kinds of things do you talk about? How has it helped you?

I realize that each mentoring relationship is probably unique in how it works, but this is something that I’ve desired for so long and I desperately want this to succeed.

I heard recently about this book on mentoring, which I’m going to read. But I’d love any thoughts you have to share as well.

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8 thoughts on “Do You Have a Mentor?

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  1. I have been praying for a mentor too. I’m always on the look out. I think it’s great that you have found someone and look forward to hearing how it goes.

  2. Hey Becky — I’ve never had a true mentor (though gone through lots on unmet expectation-relationships) but I’ve been one to several guys. A lot of the burden is on your shoulders — tell the woman what you’re hoping for and what you’d like it to look like. My guys and I talked about a whole gambit of things — women, life decisions, Jesus, aspects of being a believer… the list goes on and on. Good luck!

  3. I’ve been and had mentors. For me, the most successful relationships have been when there’s a natural connection. You both need to enjoy spending time together and connect easily. She should be able to ask you the questiosn that bring out the best in you and help you discover what’s underneath the surface. You should be able to ask great questiosn of her, that do the same and help dig out the deeper things that don’t come out in casual conversaion. My final thought is that if it doesn’t seem to be working, don’t force it… there’s few things worse then dreading mentoring meetings…maybe agree early on to reevaluate 1 month or 2months down the road.

  4. There is lots of “discussion” about mentoring and the Titus 2 model these days. I think they are the same thing (should be at least). I’ve never had a formal mentor, but have had many women I’ve learned from, been encouraged by and go to with questions and concerns. Somehow, in our culture, we miss out on the whole concept in many ways. It’s NOT natural, it’s NOT expected – either by the younger or the older women. It should be an inviting into our lives (by the older women) so that the younger women can learn by watching, seeing, just living life with us! Right? I’m realizing that I’m now in the “older woman” category to many people (UGH) and I see the need for me to be open to younger women – open to their questions, willing to answer the phone for them, answer their e-mails, invite them into my daily life so they can see how I manage! 🙂 And be open about my failings, struggles, everything.I think I’m rambling. 🙂 Hope you have a great time at the wedding! 🙂

  5. Mentoring is my passion, Beck. It’s the ministry God has placed on my heart! While I was going through the School of Ministry course I was required to find a mentor and meet with her every week. I was scared to death because my first adult mentoring experience was devastating: betrayal, lies, huge embarrassment. But I found a woman whom I love dearly and we’ve been meeting off and on for the last year and a half. It has been the most influential and powerful experience for me. I am now mentoring 2 other women and it’s been the best thing ever. I’m totally doing what God planned for my life. I actually just planned a mentoring seminar at my church! If you’d like me to send you the info that will be presented (mentoring 101–basics) I’d love to. I’d love to talk to you more if you are interested. Mentoring is a God-designed relationship that so few take part in. I pray that you can find someone!

  6. I do have a mentor and she also happens to be my Best Friend. We just started doing a one on one Bible Study and it’s been great. She is a Bible teacher so she knows what she’s doing. But every once in awhile, we’ll skip studying and just have a “fun day”. I agree with your other friend (I forget the name) that mentioned above that you guys need to feel comfortable together. My mentor doesn’t see herself as “above” me… she sees me as a friend also. Our relationship isn’t one way, however there are several more lanes going to her than coming to me if you know what I mean.Anyway, for us, we had a friendship based on just doing fun things together before we decided to do a Bible Study together. I do think that really enhanced our Bible Study time, the fact that we had a pretty solid friendship before. So, while I don’t think it’s a must, I do think it would be good to just spend some time together doing everyday things. It puts the Bible into everyday actions.

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